Awkward

We all have those moments in life where we sit back and think, well that was awkward.   You know, when you walk up to a friend you haven’t seen in ages, congratulate them on their pregnancy, and realize they are just fat.  Or when you venture into the time suck that is Pinterest and see your friend’s pinboard full of wedding dresses and hair-do’s, congratulate them on their engagement, and realize your friend is still single.   AWKWARD

Certain situations are just awkward, there is no getting around it.  Really, I don’t even know if it’s awkward, maybe uncomfortable is a better word.   Take smelly office coworker.  Have you ever worked in an office with someone who smelled so bad that it made you gag?  I’m not talking about a simple I forgot to put my deodorant on today so I smell bad smell, but I’m talking about the person who probably hasn’t showered in a good 6 months and thinks it’s ok to wear the same pair of underwear over and over and over again even though they have a slight bladder control problem.  Yeah that person.   You think they have to know they smell bad, they just have to, so you never say a word.   You dry heave quietly when he/she walks by, but you go on about your business like everything is normal.  Why?  Why do you we do this?   To spare feelings?  Is it because you think this person has a medical condition that makes them smell bad and if you say something you will just make them feel worse?  Well if that was the case, you would know about it.  Smelly coworker would  be apologizing to you for the offensive smell that a Dr diagnosed, but come on.  You know it’s not a medical condition, it’s poor hygeine.   It’s awkward and uncomfortable to sit down with someone to say, hey you smell like rancid meat on a hot hot day, so we keep our mouths shut.   What if, just what if, smelly coworker really doesn’t realize he/she smells?   Smelly coworker hears from another coworker that B.O. doesn’t really stand for beautiful office and then comes back to you to question why you never said anything about the funky smell.  Awkward.   I guess either way you’re kind of screwed, but if you had a piece of spinach in your teeth wouldn’t you want someone to tell you?  Of course you would.

Ok, so maybe smelly coworker is just a little too much for you to handle, but I think you get the picture.  What do we do though if we find ourselves in those socially awkward situations?  How does one recover from going on and on about what a cute little girl the stranger at a grocery store has only to realize it’s a boy and that the stranger is really your bosses wife?  How do you handle it when your child is going through the penis/vagina/butt blurt outs in public phase or even better, when your child has found themself and I mean FOUND themself….in a church pew?   When you go to dinner at a relatives house and the meal is beyond bad, but you lie and say it was fantastic, so they invite you back next week for more of the same?  I guess until we find the answers we just continue to live red faced, nauseated by bad smells, and have vile tastes in our mouths from bad food.   Things could be worse.  You could be this chick.

 

 

 

3 responses to “Awkward

  1. Did you work in my office in NY? ‘Cause you described Smelly Co-worker quite well. It was literally an eye-burning, watering smell…funky EVERYTHING smell. Hold your breath in the elevator for the entire 28 floor ride smell. Not to mention the disgusting eating habits…as in when someone would bring in a cake or something to share…the first question was, ‘Has Smelly Co-Worker had any?’ If so…no thanks…this woman would lick her fingers, press them all around the cake to stick crumbs to them, lick them off, and do it again…and again…and again. Go to the bathroom, and if you were in the stall she wanted (there were only a dozen to choose from), she would stick her eyeball up to the crack to see who was in ‘her’ stall. Not was someone in there, but WHO was in there and WHAT they were doing. If the office went to lunch together, say for the holidays, if she was asked to pass a glass of whatever drink…she’d stick her thumb in it. Need I say more? I can continue…but you must’ve known her…you wrote all about her. ; )

  2. OMG help I need pintrest intervention……..

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